Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
