hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
