I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
There's always time for handjobs
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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