sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
