Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize