I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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