he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
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My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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