with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
