So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
