textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
do herpes really smell.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize
