Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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