Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Boobs are out for the taking
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
