My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
