Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
