Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
