U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
