Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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