i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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