I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
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I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
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They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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