We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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