Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.

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(925): View more from California

tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.

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27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
Read it at the TFLN blog
(517): View more from Michigan

last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this

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(712): View more from Iowa

Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!

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(630): View more from Illinois

I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.

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