He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
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Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
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I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?