Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.

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(909): I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars. http://tfl.nu/cj0n

Replies (39) Good night (798) Bad night (6439)
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(914): View more from New York

after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.

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(914): after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him. http://tfl.nu/2bsg

Replies (41) Good night (727) Bad night (6284)
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(813): View more from Florida

watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide

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(813): watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide http://tfl.nu/fnhs

Replies (41) Good night (7382) Bad night (597)
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(616): View more from Michigan

you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way

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(616): you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way http://tfl.nu/p3hb

Replies (19) Good night (750) Bad night (6597)
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(914): View more from New York

So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.

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(914): So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great. http://tfl.nu/w708

Replies (8) Good night (2769) Bad night (870)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...

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(484): he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car... http://tfl.nu/7kdq

Replies (5) Good night (2475) Bad night (1275)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.

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(610): There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library. http://tfl.nu/m2ex

Replies (11) Good night (4004) Bad night (937)
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(406): View more from Montana

There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!

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(406): There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go! http://tfl.nu/765a

Replies (9) Good night (2608) Bad night (778)
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(812): View more from Indiana

Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.

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(812): Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand. http://tfl.nu/f9hd

Replies (9) Good night (656) Bad night (3367)
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(903): View more from Texas

Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat

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(903): Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat http://tfl.nu/dy7q

Replies (3) Good night (1820) Bad night (541)
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(303): View more from Colorado

I respect the size of her balls.

(1-303): View more from Colorado

Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.

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(303): I respect the size of her balls. (1-303): Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else. http://tfl.nu/t5xu

Replies (15) Good night (778) Bad night (757)
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(205): View more from Alabama

Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.

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(205): Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation. http://tfl.nu/ln89

Replies (3) Good night (1413) Bad night (927)
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(303): View more from Colorado

The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....

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(303): The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING.... http://tfl.nu/av21

Replies (7) Good night (1918) Bad night (434)
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(248): View more from Michigan

And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover

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(248): And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover http://tfl.nu/8g3o

Replies (2) Good night (686) Bad night (262)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...

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(610): Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong... http://tfl.nu/0c42

Replies (0) Good night (548) Bad night (230)

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