Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.