Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me