Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.