The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
