Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
