Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
