I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I checked into jail on foursquare
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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