Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Randomize
