Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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