YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
