I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
