I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Randomize
