Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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