I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
