All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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