Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
