I accidentally had phone sex last night
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize