so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
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So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just high enough for therapy.
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I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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