In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
