people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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