what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
