I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
