he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I have aggressive nipples.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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