had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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