so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Farmville is her only friend.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
