girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize