i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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