My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
not ubering you a puppy
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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