I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
