awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Randomize
