Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
