i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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