No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
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