im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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