But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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