The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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