Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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