i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
