i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
