I'm gonna have a badass scar
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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