a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
