And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
