so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
