feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
