It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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