hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize