The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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