You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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