hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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