you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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