ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
