yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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