Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
A+ Viking dick
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
