So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Randomize
