we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
